So I'm loosing who I am. I don't get it I feel lost, but I don't want to find myself. I am finding that I enjoy being lost I am starting to realize that I have no true purpose in life. I fear that I am going to be one of those people that hit a time clock for the rest of my life and nothing exciting ever happens. Thus I feel that I have to start making the most of my life. I have deiced to find a real job one with a future and Yes pay for me to go to school. The job I am hoping for is a patient escort (get your minds out of the gutter people). Thus with this job I am planing to start taking vacations. 1) place I am going is Amsterdam 2) is Caribbean 3) France and 4) is Spain.

What else well I am kind of dating some one it's not serious at the moment but might get there. It might also stall after Saturday. I'm I so wrong to want to be alone I don't want to be with one person for the next 60 years. I would like a family but I can have one with out a Partner (just a little harder). Is it so wrong to want to be myself and not have to share that person with the world?

I am starting to realize I am the only person who really knows me and that I don't even know my closest friends like I use to. I fear I am rambling here (not like anybody is going to read this anyways). So peace out my Blogger's!!!

Ohio Now.!

So I'm down in Ohio now and I feel more relaxed; despite the fact that I have no money comming in and bill that need paying. I guess I'm just relaxed, because my Grandmother is very sure that I will get this job at the Hospital. Which that will be nice they will help me pay for school, which is going to be interesting I'm switching my major to Rad-tech.

Let's see what else....

I am getting a deal on a brand new car in Aug. I'm excited about that. Well that's all that i care to share at this moment...

Yo! T'is time for an update.

So I have decided to move to Ohio, and finish school. My cousin is going to move in with me hopefully, so I won't have to stay at my Grandmothers house for long. Thus to celebrated this momentous occasion I want to have a party. I am thinking a house warming and leaving party. I will supply some drinks. I am also thinking that I might have two one here with my MTP friends and one back home as a send-off the night before I leave. I will be expecting all my friends to join me at one of the parties.

Let's see I am working a lot and just covering bills. I am still single and looks to be keeping it that way till I move. Other than that I have nothing new to add to this. Catch ya later.

Yo!?

So, I graduate roughly a year form June. It's taking me a few years, but atleast I will have a degree. What I will do with it is beyond me. So I've been seeking professional help. I am not getting what I thought I would, but I've only been going a little while; I just don't feel better. However, he wants me to go to a Psychiatrist's and be tested for a disorder (hmm. I might be bipolar.) That's a shocker, not.

So I've also been dating (a lot) this is what I want if you know someone that fits this description let me know. 1) Likes rock, metal, pop, rap, and certain mainstream music.
2) Likes going out as much as staying in.
3) Does not want to have sex every night.
4) Funny.
5) Likes my friends.
6) DOESN'T PISS ME OFF.

So until I find the person that fits those six characteristics I shall not have sex till then.

I might be eating my own words sooner or later.

Why?

Why do I get so stressed. I'm tired of stressing about things that are out of my control. I mean it's not to the point it was last year, but god damnit I've had a hell of a week.

1) Step dad has prostate cancer.
2) Broke...
3) Working a ton.
4) School is filling my plate.
5) I can't scream and I want to.

I am going to Florida for a spring break. If you'd like to join me let me know. Only, serious apply.

Oh God!!!

I am so tired of work and working. I mean I would have no problem working all these hours if it was at one job. 33 hours out of 72 hours... Yeah for school. Why did I just say that you ask? I have two days off a week and my school schdule is sweet. I'm there on Monday at 10 am till 1125 am then Weds same time and then again at 6 pm. Wow that's a big break I get chills and love it time off. That's fucked up I know.

You all wondered if I have morals.

Well I was online chatting with a friend-of-a-friend and got really pissed off. This person kept inviting me to there place for a "long weekend." I told them that I don't take time off, because I don't have paid days off at the moment and they said well "if you're good enough i will pay." Believe it or not I actually went off on the fucker. I simply said " I don't get down like that!" I ended up blocking him from aim and sending my friend an e-mail not to give my sn to any one ever again. The nerve of the person to think I was a common run of the mill hooker. I'm pissed. Just because I am broke does not mean I will sell my body. Honestly I am easy, if you're hot enough yeah sex will happen, but to offer money ewww! So there u have it my morals I will not take money for sex!!