I have come to relize I am a better person then I thought I was. I geuss you could say I've had an apthany (sp if you know the right spelling for it let me know). I have realized I want nothing from my father. All, I want is to send him a letter and a picture to show him that without him I have become an up-standing person. The child he wanted dead and always wanted turned out pretty damn good if I say so my self. So for that fact and only that fact I will send him that note. And, when he dies I plan on going to his funeral just to see him for the first and last time. My, real concern is when I die, and if there is a haven will I have to see him. But, if my beleafs come true then I will proaly re-live my life, but if my life is good now and I am happy (dispite this unshakeable depression I am happy). Then what mistakes would I have to make.
This is the list of things I feel I do right.
1) Stand up for people that can't. The ill ones.
2)State facts when people are feeding lies to me or mine.
3)Defeand the people that mean the most to me.
4)I don't hold grudges unless you hurt me or mine.
5)I am not the jealous person. I am also happy for people that get things the proper way (work)
6)I am not really a racist. I just hate all people the use the system, people, and that don't like something cuz they are afarid. (sexuality)
7)I would give the shirt off my back if it would help one of mine.

Seven good reasons why I think this might be my last life as me. I wonder. I know it could have been better, but I don't think I would want any of it to change. The events in my life made me the person I am. I just have to make sure I remeber them. If I can do this I will not lose my roots...