I have a fear.

My fear is that I will die younger than expected.
Not of nature, but of my own doing.
I have told myself that when my glacuma gets worse and I lose my eye sight my life will end.
I am not the type of person that can live as a dependent.
Not being able to see will not help.
But if the meds do what they are suppose to and then the surgery releases the presure I should be fine.
If that is true then why the hell am I so scared? if all these things are to make be better and keep my eyesight I should be okay. Why do I feel so bad???????