Your Birthdate: July 16

Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone. You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent. You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate. You are introspective and a little stubborn. Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family. This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations. The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you. Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach. You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions. Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

What a Wicked Web We Weave Once We Practice to Decive.

That is a line from one of, William Shakespears play. I do like a lot of his plays, don't ask me why I just do. Do many people like things and don't know why? I do I like them, but I couldn't explain why if I tryed.

I talked to my boss about hours and asked if I could get more hours, seeing that I have an open avlability. So I have been getting awsome hours and I thought I would love it. How wrong I was. I have 34 and a half hours for next week and only one day off. Then my next schdule is turning out to be even odder. I will be working a double or two on saturday and friday, maybe even sunday I am not sure yet. I figure the more hours I get the better, but at what cost to me. I don't sleep much and I haven't had time to hang out with any of my friends, not that they have time to hang out either. If they do we have a schdule conflict. To tell you all the truth I don't know why I take the abuse of working my summers away and working and going to school all this time. To remady it I have been looking into studing aboard. Supposedly SVSU has a really good program for that. So do a couple of other schools I am looking into. I might have to just say hell with it and go to either CMU or OSU. Just for the room and bored that way I don't have to pay rent and I can save up so I am able to study in France, Ireland, England, Germany, Italy or any other country I so choose. well I have typed enough for one day so I will chat with ya'll later.

You Are 50% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

The Concert. By Ryan Palmer Ruiz de Castilla.

Rachel and I went to the Luda concert. Yes I enjoy Ludas music. I did not enjoy the two opening acts there. I thought they could have actually played some decent music. However, Ludas performance was rather good. Dispite the fact that he only played 45 mintues, that was longer thenI had expected. I honestly thought that SVSU just said luda was gonna be there. Because after the concert started at 8:30 (half hour late) the two opening acts then sucked and they were booed. What shocked me the most was the fact that there was no roits. Granted the concert mainly contained white kids that think they are black. But serisouly if I ever say lets go to a concert and they don't have an opening act right on the ticket, please shot me. Anyways I would like to see luda again but maybe at the civic center not the Ryder. P.s quinn the ryder center is way over rated.


On another note I am thinking about the casino on saturday. Any takers other than Rachel?????? I should be able to get out at around 10-11 12 am at the latest. Hti me up if any of ya want to go.

So Gorssed Out.

It all started out inocently enough then went to hell and a hand basket. I thought I would look at Ebay. com for some cars, seeing how Autotrader.com wasn't working for me, but no because I failed to payattenion my finger sliped and sent me to the wrong site. It wasnt not ebay but egay. I never rebooted a computer faster then I did at that excat(sp) moment. So if you don't see me at Delta things went bad for me. ;( that is all for todays update I am sure I will post again but not until friday night after my concert. Rachel if I don't ask you did you get friday off.

This is going to be a very long day for me.

Ok, Since I have been back I have not had a day to myself. That means that I have been working from April 2nd through today, that is roughly 17days. In the last two days I have gathered about 8 hours of sleep. Not good, because I have a 12 hour day yesterday and a 10 hour day today. With me working at 1:30 on tuesday I have to have all my homework done tonight, inorder to get a decent grade in my classes. To explain to you how tired I am, let me tell you about how I feel. My head hurts (brain wise), my eyes hurt (no contacts for me today,) and I can't, really, feel my legs very well.

Furthermore, all day, so far, I have had the feeling that I have been, being watched. Infact, my eyes are playing tricks, cuz whenever I look into the monitor I see some one right behind me and when I turn to look at this person I do not see them. And no the reflection is not of myself. I have not lost my mind, anyfurther then what I have thus far. Now I feel that I am rambling on and on, so I will take my leave as of now.

Why do I (We) Do This To Ourselves?

It is mandated that we go to school, at least, from Kindergarden- our 16th birthdays. Some of us go through High school. Then some of us to college. For what? Ultamately it is for money. But some choose a carreer that says here I am. Is it worth the money, time, and studing when we could be haveing fun. Instead we are stuck in a build two or more days a week. When, we are not inside we are working on papers or studing for classs, and then we work. It is a viscous cycle. That basicly is boiled down to money. The better of an education we get the better paid we become. If this is so, why are so many of us out of work? There are some collage grads that make 6 dollars an hour. Hmm! this is so wrong. We go bankrupt to get an education and then have to work meaningless jobs to pay for life. Until we find the job we went to school for, if that ever happens.

I Feel Like Shit.

Not, because I am sick, but because I can not afford to move out this summer. I really feel bad because I let Rachel down. If you know me I really don't like to let my freinds down, well at least I think I don't let them down. I am really mad with myself for letting me get so far behind in bills, agin. I just hope that she is not to pissed off at me. Well I am gonna go to bed and cry about my bills see you later.

My Theroy on Love!

First of all, why do we, now a days, feel that there is love in the world? Granted that you are suppose to love your family, but do you really. When a parent dies or Grandparent, we cry and morin. Are we crying because we really did love them or because we last a confidant? That is the norm. What I don't get is why are people looking for Mr or Mrs. Right. Why can't we just find the Right person for right now. Two people in my English class are ingaged to be married. If you are in love why do you need a piece of paper telling the world you are in love. Now, people get married for health insurance and a reteriement, I get that. When our parents were married it was either convenit, gotting of a child, or love,so they thought in many cases. Most of my friends have parents that are split up. Come to think of it I have two freinds that parents are married. I don't think one set of parents are happily married however, but I can't speak for the other ones. And if you want to get technical my mom has never been devoriced. She never married my dad. He was, in her words, Mr. Right now. I myself fell love is bothersome, yes sex is good but in our times we have a lot to worry about, STDS, kids, yes kids have always been a problem but still the teenage pregnecy is at all time high. I don't know am I just not getting it. I am that selfish that I don't want to share my life with a person. Or am I just a confermed Bachlor, for life. Or is it all possible that I will find the right person for life not for now? I don't know but I do know this I will not hold my breathe for said person. If you are out their and you are into a lot of the things I am into then leave me a message, if not piss or get off the pot.

I'm Back From My Vaction!!

I have to admit this, I LOVE THE SOUTH. Not just for the weather, that is the iceying on the cake, but I love the people. Not one rude person, except for the bitch at universal. I mean they all say "Hi honey, how are y'a?" "Do you want a Soda?" I was at the bar in Daytona with Grandma and Amber, and the bar tender was so sweet and hot. Every time she asked if we wanted a beer we all said "yes please." She commented that we have very nice manors or we have worked with the public and know how they are. Actually, my grandmother said both.

Later after we poored Grandma into her bed and my cousin mooned my mom. Amber and I went out. First so we didn't have to make an extra stop we hit the head. When I walked into the lobby bathroom, there were three very drunk college kids seeing how far they could piss. Needless to say that I saw more then I really cared to. Then when Amber walked into the bathroom there were two girls in one stall, she was pissed because they didn't invite her. Well we went out and watched the cops pull over 30 cars amin, well something like that, and saw a lot more drunk kids. There was this kid maybe 16 that had a fake ID bathering this nice girl so Amber and I went up and said "Honey I'm back" and the kid wanted to take a swing at Amber. She of coruse said you hit me you go to jail. He didn't know she was a women.

Then the next morning we lounged by the beach and stuff then headed to Skip's house, my grandma's cousin. His house was in the middle of nothing the closet store was a half hour away. That was the longest 16 hours of my life as well as everyone else's. That night we were kept up all night by Skip and his Fince screwing around, as well as Skips' house mates. Then my grandmother wanted out of the house at the buttcrack of dawn so, she washed her hair in the sink. Now Grandma hates to sleep in underwear, and she wears nightgowns. Well while she was washing her hair in the kitchen sink the ass was hanging out. Well Ken wanted some coffee as we went there the almost ramed his stuff up grandmas bum. lucky for grandma she stood up in time. Well we left at 6 am, and that was the itchest time of our lives. We were covered in flee bites. Needless to say we all cused her out, it was her idea to stay at skips and nobody could think of a way out.

Then we went to unversal, that was fun I wished we could have stayed longer and that i was 21 and not 19 going on 20. The Mummy ride was awsome, liked the Jaws ride and yes I am admiting I like Scherik's ride.

Now for the part that I didn't want to do but ended up liking it anyways. Savannah Gerogia. It was awsome. The ghosts, the shops and the buildings. I have to say I loved it a lot. So to recap my mom talked to a ghosts, saw a lot of good and bad things at Daytona, Grandma getting ass checked by a Charles Manson look alike, and my grandmother cusing out this little old women for being a bitch. The saddest part was coming home to 50 degree weather. Well I have to shhower and get ready for work now talk to you all later.

No Idea You all Insert Title Here-

I have noticed that many people in Saginaw are oppsed to wearing a nice smelling fegerence. Friday and Saturday I was privy to some funky smells coming from many people I had to wait on at work. Then today I was walking behind this person who stunk like a sased-pool. I am not saying that I am the best smelling person in the world, but I try not smell like a damn bathroom. If I did I am sure that my friends would tell my I smell like a Jock strap or something along those lines.

Secondly, I am a bit confessed with life in general. How can I hate a job about 13 months ago, and actually enjoy it now?! I am not saying that it is any better but I actually don't dreed going to work. I half belive it is becacuse I need the money, and that two of the managers I did not get a long with are gone as well as the entire staff that I really did not get a long with.

Thirdly, I am going to florida in about three days. I can not wait to go, the weather better be fucking fantastic.

Fourthly, there is not a fourth. I just don't like odd numbers.
Bye y'all!


Mood- :)
Music- Death Meatal
Happiness Priceless.

A Great Day!

Okay I answered my Delima, I am going to ignore the whole thing. He has had twenty years to do all this, so that means that I can validate my anger towards him. I know have two jobs, well one and i am fo percent sure I have the other. However, I still will only be working six days aweek, at different hourly pay. And Meijer pays weekly but GKC pays biweekly that is cool with me though. If it comes about I can get a palce to live but the most I can afford is 150 a month. but I have to wait till the end of April so I can save my money. That is my day. How was yours?

What to do With My Delima.

I have this oppertunity to supbena my Father for a blood test. I was thinking that if it were a match than what would I do? Well first the ball would be in his court to see if he wanted a relationship (father/son) with his only son. To be honest I doubt he will welcome me with open arms. And if he did what would I do? I would like to think that I would have a relationship with him but would I regret it? Damn it I wish this oppertunity never came about. What would you do in my case??

I Feel......

What do we feel?
Is what we feel really what it is?
Is smooth really smooth or is rough really rough, or is it just what we are told it is?
When I cut do I bleed or am I healing, or am I screaming?
When I am hurt am I really hurt at all, or is it all tied in with what we are told is pain?
How do we know if we really exist?
If I died tomorrow would I be remebered?
If I die in 50 years will I be moraned, or will it be a great thing?
Or is this so called life really reality and what is reality?
Is this another persons dream and when this person die will we simply stop existing?
If I slap you will you feel it, and will I feel it?
What is pain but ananounce on a certain part of our body.
What is our body but merely a group of tissue and organs hidden by skin.
But what is a body but a mod-of-transprotaion from birth till death.

This is all a form of Pholisphy, or is it? Not really sure. This is truly the ramblings that have came to me in my class. Av'ur (sp)

Hmmmm!

I have been craving a ciggeratte all day. The thing is that I haven't smoked in a long time. In fact I think the last time I smoked was a the New years party at Jeff's house, and that was a cigar not a ciggereatte. I don't think it is related to stress of any kind I jusst think my body really wants to have a "cancer stick" as it were. In all reality I dispisze ciggs. But yet for the first time in a year+ I really want to have a smoke. I think it is a good thing that I don't have any money to buy them I proably would end up buying them. My only other option would be to bum a smoke off of someone else. I don't think I shall be doing that. So what can I do to get this craving out of my system, smoking is not one of them. Hmm. what to do . In other news I am bored shitless. I dont know why I am so bored well I am going to class and stuff so have a nice day .....

So Bored!

I started reading The Di Vincci Code, in fact I have read about one-hundered pages, compelted my homework, in record time, and cleaned my room twice. I think I can relate this all to one thing the weather. I have hay fever like spring will never come. I finally have proof that spring is going to be here. It will reach the early 40's by friday and I know it's not that warm but it is about 20 degrees warmer than what we have at this point in time. If the weather is right we could reach 50's by the end of the next week. (I am talking as if it is Monday not sunday.) For my sanity and proably yours as well I hope that the weather warms up and I can start to go outside and do shit...

P.s. does anyone know of places that are hirring at this time??

Only In America!

So my mom and I went out shopping for new clothes for sumer and my trips, and I thought it was going to be boring. So when I am at the cashier asked me if I would like to apply for a Penny's card; I said sure, thinking and hoping that I would not get aproved. Boy was I wrong. I got a new credit card. I am not working, and now I have another bill to pay each month so in closing I would like to say DAMNIT IT ALL!

Weather!

Is it just me or have the past two days, or so, been misleading? Yesterday I looked outside and saw the sun shining away. A last, I walked outside and felt the COLD wind blowing and making my skin hurt. Then today the same thing happened the sun is out, and there is an artic wind blowing. I am so looking forward to taking a trip. I am so bored with life in fact I even skiped a class this morning. Not to mention I am very stressed out about my personal life. So you all know it is turned upside down and making me want to binge drink. Well that is all for now.

I decided to do both!

If you read this, even if i don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad -- just so long as it happened.Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you...

Lost Fish!?

Okay, this is creeping me out, to no extreme. I was counting my fish, cuz I thought some were missing, sure enought I am missing a Rosie fish. So I ask my mum if she and Lacy got a dead fish out of my tank? She said no and why? well I am missing a fish i know a guppy died but I dont remeber flushing a rosie cuz that was a huge fish. So thinking that one of the kids got it and were playing with I called my grandmother, to see if she a had a fish in her suitcase. No luck. How in the hell can a 4 inch fish just disapare into thin water, or did it spontontainesly conbust, or did it jump out? If it did that, then my room would stink, no smell. Another theroy my mother has is that the ghost in the house took it. Yes my house is haunted, my mom and I hear voices in the living room late at night, no body is up, figures walking from the living room to dining room, and my grandmother has seen it. She actually made my mum sleep in the living room with her that next night. So I ask you have you seen my fish?