No Idea You all Insert Title Here-

I have noticed that many people in Saginaw are oppsed to wearing a nice smelling fegerence. Friday and Saturday I was privy to some funky smells coming from many people I had to wait on at work. Then today I was walking behind this person who stunk like a sased-pool. I am not saying that I am the best smelling person in the world, but I try not smell like a damn bathroom. If I did I am sure that my friends would tell my I smell like a Jock strap or something along those lines.

Secondly, I am a bit confessed with life in general. How can I hate a job about 13 months ago, and actually enjoy it now?! I am not saying that it is any better but I actually don't dreed going to work. I half belive it is becacuse I need the money, and that two of the managers I did not get a long with are gone as well as the entire staff that I really did not get a long with.

Thirdly, I am going to florida in about three days. I can not wait to go, the weather better be fucking fantastic.

Fourthly, there is not a fourth. I just don't like odd numbers.
Bye y'all!


Mood- :)
Music- Death Meatal
Happiness Priceless.

A Great Day!

Okay I answered my Delima, I am going to ignore the whole thing. He has had twenty years to do all this, so that means that I can validate my anger towards him. I know have two jobs, well one and i am fo percent sure I have the other. However, I still will only be working six days aweek, at different hourly pay. And Meijer pays weekly but GKC pays biweekly that is cool with me though. If it comes about I can get a palce to live but the most I can afford is 150 a month. but I have to wait till the end of April so I can save my money. That is my day. How was yours?

What to do With My Delima.

I have this oppertunity to supbena my Father for a blood test. I was thinking that if it were a match than what would I do? Well first the ball would be in his court to see if he wanted a relationship (father/son) with his only son. To be honest I doubt he will welcome me with open arms. And if he did what would I do? I would like to think that I would have a relationship with him but would I regret it? Damn it I wish this oppertunity never came about. What would you do in my case??

I Feel......

What do we feel?
Is what we feel really what it is?
Is smooth really smooth or is rough really rough, or is it just what we are told it is?
When I cut do I bleed or am I healing, or am I screaming?
When I am hurt am I really hurt at all, or is it all tied in with what we are told is pain?
How do we know if we really exist?
If I died tomorrow would I be remebered?
If I die in 50 years will I be moraned, or will it be a great thing?
Or is this so called life really reality and what is reality?
Is this another persons dream and when this person die will we simply stop existing?
If I slap you will you feel it, and will I feel it?
What is pain but ananounce on a certain part of our body.
What is our body but merely a group of tissue and organs hidden by skin.
But what is a body but a mod-of-transprotaion from birth till death.

This is all a form of Pholisphy, or is it? Not really sure. This is truly the ramblings that have came to me in my class. Av'ur (sp)

Hmmmm!

I have been craving a ciggeratte all day. The thing is that I haven't smoked in a long time. In fact I think the last time I smoked was a the New years party at Jeff's house, and that was a cigar not a ciggereatte. I don't think it is related to stress of any kind I jusst think my body really wants to have a "cancer stick" as it were. In all reality I dispisze ciggs. But yet for the first time in a year+ I really want to have a smoke. I think it is a good thing that I don't have any money to buy them I proably would end up buying them. My only other option would be to bum a smoke off of someone else. I don't think I shall be doing that. So what can I do to get this craving out of my system, smoking is not one of them. Hmm. what to do . In other news I am bored shitless. I dont know why I am so bored well I am going to class and stuff so have a nice day .....

So Bored!

I started reading The Di Vincci Code, in fact I have read about one-hundered pages, compelted my homework, in record time, and cleaned my room twice. I think I can relate this all to one thing the weather. I have hay fever like spring will never come. I finally have proof that spring is going to be here. It will reach the early 40's by friday and I know it's not that warm but it is about 20 degrees warmer than what we have at this point in time. If the weather is right we could reach 50's by the end of the next week. (I am talking as if it is Monday not sunday.) For my sanity and proably yours as well I hope that the weather warms up and I can start to go outside and do shit...

P.s. does anyone know of places that are hirring at this time??

Only In America!

So my mom and I went out shopping for new clothes for sumer and my trips, and I thought it was going to be boring. So when I am at the cashier asked me if I would like to apply for a Penny's card; I said sure, thinking and hoping that I would not get aproved. Boy was I wrong. I got a new credit card. I am not working, and now I have another bill to pay each month so in closing I would like to say DAMNIT IT ALL!

Weather!

Is it just me or have the past two days, or so, been misleading? Yesterday I looked outside and saw the sun shining away. A last, I walked outside and felt the COLD wind blowing and making my skin hurt. Then today the same thing happened the sun is out, and there is an artic wind blowing. I am so looking forward to taking a trip. I am so bored with life in fact I even skiped a class this morning. Not to mention I am very stressed out about my personal life. So you all know it is turned upside down and making me want to binge drink. Well that is all for now.

I decided to do both!

If you read this, even if i don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad -- just so long as it happened.Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you...

Lost Fish!?

Okay, this is creeping me out, to no extreme. I was counting my fish, cuz I thought some were missing, sure enought I am missing a Rosie fish. So I ask my mum if she and Lacy got a dead fish out of my tank? She said no and why? well I am missing a fish i know a guppy died but I dont remeber flushing a rosie cuz that was a huge fish. So thinking that one of the kids got it and were playing with I called my grandmother, to see if she a had a fish in her suitcase. No luck. How in the hell can a 4 inch fish just disapare into thin water, or did it spontontainesly conbust, or did it jump out? If it did that, then my room would stink, no smell. Another theroy my mother has is that the ghost in the house took it. Yes my house is haunted, my mom and I hear voices in the living room late at night, no body is up, figures walking from the living room to dining room, and my grandmother has seen it. She actually made my mum sleep in the living room with her that next night. So I ask you have you seen my fish?

I have been feeling that my life has become mindnumbingly boring. I do the same thing day in and day out. So it occured to me that if my life is like this now how is it going to be in the future? I dont like things to become mondaine(sp) but I fear that they will become that way in the futrue. So it is up to me to change that. But to change I need money and that involves a job. Any ideas on places that are hiring? let me know.

I am so damn bored right now I dont have any words to explain it!

Looking forward to mid-semster break.

I have to say that I am rather tired of getting up for school write now. I know it is only twice a week but still, I should have know that I would get tired of the early moring B.S. So I am going to enjoy this week off. Maybe clean my room, Naah.

I called around and got a kick ass quote for a jeep, only catch is that they want me to order it. Hmm. I added the cost up and it would be the same as if I got it from the Dealer ship. The catch is that the one I order will be an automatic, worse gas mileage, but I can get a remote start put in. Hmm I think i will go with that.

The tentive dates for New York are July 24-27. So we will leave Michigan aroun 6:oo pm the 23th so we can check in or maybe a little later and sight see on the way there. If we don't site see on the way there we can do it on the way back. Catch the bathroom wil be shared, that scares me in a way. I will pay for the room, but gas cash will be needed on the way there and back. Well class is starting and my fingers hurt from typing all day....

No Title!

I have been sick this entire weekend. At one point I thought I might have to go to the hosptial. I had a fever of 102.9 and it was climbing. I have vomited three times, I have a sore thoart, and have been very dizzy. At one point I thought that I was in a washing machine. I also have a few bruses, and got some bloody noises. I wonder if I should be worried about that?

Why Do Needy People Like Me?

Okay, it all started with Jenny. Now this girl in one of my classes, is starting to come on to me. She is a nice person, but so not my type. No, I am not talking about physical looks. This is my findings on the subject matter. Today she told me that her boyfriend Chris dumped her. I barely know this woman and she is telling me this. Furthermore, she always has to be touching my arm when she is talking to me. She stops and talks to me when she is with her other friends. I do, however, think she just might want to be friends and I am so peranoid, that I am reading to much into this. Other evidence I have is that she is always telling me about the "guys" that find her atractive. Now I have just meet this person and she is telling me all this stuff. She is quit conclsive about her life. ( I think I used that word right anyways.) I feel it is odd that she is telling, an almost complete stranger, about her life, more important about her family and the guys, she is into. I hope I am reading too much into this, I like her but as a FREIND ONLY!

Also, today I meet someone very interesting. The most famine guy in the world, or atleast mine. He has hair down to his shoulders, two earings in each ear, red lipstick, eye makeup, and I believe he was wearing a womens shirt. Or I have just meet a very masciline woman at the gas station. Either way, this is really odd. He/She had more male fetures then female and had a deeper voice than I do. It also looked as if this person could bench press me, plus a few extra pounds. In conlcusion for the first time ever I hope that I did not offend anybody about the comments I have made on this site, if I did I am truly sorry for them. These are, after all, just ramblings and events that have happened or have come out of my mouth. Until next ya'll, have a nice day and don't let the little things bug you.

Valentines Day.

Yes I am aware that VD is not until monday, but today it is being celbrated at my house. My mom got my two dvds, and a new cd. I have not yet got her something, flowers are passa (sp), she is a diabetic, no choclate, got her a poem last year, I spent a lot on her necklace so jewlery is out. I have no Idea what to get her. If any of you webbers out there read this give me some ideas.
So I got bored and grabed all my CDs, and downloaded them onto my computer, for safe keeping ;). And I realized that I have about four tapes that I would like to hang on to, for a while. I really don't have any ideas on how to make them into a CD. I don't want to buy them all over again, that would be a waste of money. I went looking online (napster) downloaded some of the songs, but the rest they want me to pay for. Me being cheap right now I said no, any ideas on what to do???

Hmm.

I was at Delta yesterday, erecurting, to be more specific. And this girl walked up to me and said that I have pretty eyes. I don't know how she could tell by the end of the day my eyes were so dry and red, I could tell what color they were. I think she was just being nice. She really wasn't that bad looking though. But I really wasn't looking at her, I was just wanting to get out of that school. I don't know why I felt the need to tell the world that but I did and now I am off. good bye ..

I Have A Bad Case of the I Wants!

Lately, I have noticed that I am wanting more and more items. It is not because I do without, but because I have not been able to go shopping for these said items. When I go out shopping I can not afford to spend my money lavishly. I am lucky to put gas in my truck every week or so. I have made large accomplishments as of late, I have paid my credit card down. My accounts still are low, but with this changing economy I might have a savings account once again.

Throughout my time of unemployment (at my own doing), I have learned to proatize my money. The most important items get paid first, so on and so forth. Does this mean that I have grown up?? Or I am just wanting to be able to say that hey, I am unemploied but yet I still have an ok credit rating??? I think I am growing up. Last year I would have bought the items on my so called "I want list," and said that I will figure a way to pay for my stuff, later. I have learned that when you don't have any money you can not spend it. That can be troublesome for us college kids. To me it seems that every time I turn around I have to pay for something at school. In order to pay for this I have to borrow money hmmm, how do I pay them back?? That is why I love this contry, the Gov't will, usually, reinbures you. I for one like that. But it will not pay my parents, Grandmother, cousin, or my Visa. So that is where I am now, figuring out a budget that I don't have so I can start to pay these people back. Totallying the amount up I am in the whole about 3000 dollars. I have figured my budget, but inorder for it to work out, I need to have some form of income. I am too young to file bankruptcy, and I don't have any kids, so I can't get welfare. I have to get off my butt and get a job..... I have applied to about thrity different places and that was last night and the day before. So yes I am activly looking for employment, and the only standard I have is the refusel to flip burggers, at burger king.

I applogize if it seems asif I am bitching and repeating myself, also I am sorry for the length of this update. I will talk to all of whom who care later this evening online, while I update my reusme.... Goodbye for now....

Pissed Off Mood

I need a job, right? Well that is what I thought too, but my mom said that I can't commute to Citas. However, I really want the job pays good money, and bennifites. So instead I have to settle for 6-something perhour at a mindnumbing job. That is just one of many reasons why I need to move out and get my own place. AAAAAAAAAAAAaa!

Taking a Cue From Miss. Rachel.

Febuary, has made its mark on Michigan. The snow is, almost, all gone and the weather is warming up rather nicely. Even though today is a rainy and kind of crappy day, it still feels nice, to be driving in the rain, rather than the snow. Even though there is no sun, there is a hint of love in the air. However, I am not in love, but for some reason seeing others make faces at their loved ones is rather nice to see. Not!!! I do like this month for one reason, here in Michigan the second month of the year usually means the end of winter. With rain coming down apon us, and the snow everbreating into the atomsphe, it is comforting to know that the girls will be wearing there famous short shorts. I for one am ready to see all the attractive girls in short shorts, I am making a point, here, to tell you all if I see any fat chicks with cottage cheese legs they will be shot on site.

This could be good for someone, we all know, at a certain college on the other side of town...

I have Oberserved myself!!!

Okay, I have been very productive, well for me. I have re-mounted my amp, and bass adjuster, now they don't go flying whenever I turn a corner or hit my brakes :O. Speaking of brakes they actually failed me last night. I went to slam on them, to avoid hitting someone and yea I was better off just swarving to miss the guy. No damage done to my POS or the other guy.

I have done most of my homework and it is not even sunday :).

Last night I went out and saw the Buggyman. It was surpisingly good. The ending was a little weak, however. I did jump once, and that is good, because I am verutally desensitzed.

However my productivity, has slowed up a little. I need to clean my bloody room, and finsh my two hundered math problems. I just don't have any ambishen, right now.

I have however spent the moajority of my time looking for jobs. To fill you all in there aren't any in the city of Saginaw. If there is the top pay is about 7.00 per hour and that is after years of work. I have almost swallowed my pride and gone back to the Theatre, then it hit me I do not want to make that place a carrer, so I am not going back. Well I geuss I am gonna go and finsh my homework. Later!!!!!!!!