I'm doing it. I am changing. I can feel the happiness tapping at my shoulder and beckoning for me to play with it. I am wanting to hang with old and dear friends. I don't want to be with the new ones. I don't want the drugs, the booze, the sadness. I want MY LIFE BACK and I've got it.

I have deiceded to hire a PI to find my dad so I can send him a letter telling him my stance of him. This leads me to ask: should I let a sleeping dog rest or should I unload so I can finally have peace with him and my life. I don't blame him (much). Do I feel my life would have been different if he was in it. Yes, the scary part is I don't know if my life would have been better or worse.

To the next "Special Person In my Life."


1) If you cheat you're gone.
2) Yes, being drunk and fucking your ex is cheating.
3) Once, I dump you I will ever take you back.
4) I will not be your friend when I break up with you that's it.
5) I won't hurt you if you don't hurt you.


I am speaking from my past. I hate it so much, but yet again I was fucking right. Twice. I didn't cheat on them once. I will never get into another ltr.

I often fear I am to nice. I do/have noticed one thing. In this materilistic world I could be King, however I am not. I like nice things and I like my things to be nice and stay nice I have noticed this; I share. I notice the other day that I am very different then my brother. My mother realized years ago that you don't share your wife, house, clothes, cars and extc. Thus, she change her parenting style. You can share if you want to and trust me I don't want to I just do. This brings me to the point I would like to make. I don't care for being nice nice gets you nothing in this world. I have been to nice to many people in this world and I have yet to be repaid for it. Nice guy is dead.