dont ask

I hate you for the way you make me feel.
I hate you for the way you make me think.
I hate you soo much and yet I still need you and want you.
Damn you for making me feel this way.
I hate love and we won't be together when my brain figures out how to control my heart.
But like all men it knows when to shutup and let the heart win.
"Only one time, for when you are hurt you won't want love again"
Is what the brain tells the heart.
Maybe, maybe not but look at her she smiles, laughs at all the jokes he says funny or not; she's perfect for now, not forever.
"True, he needs this, just once though."
So the heart and brain work together.
I love you.
I need you.
We will be together for now not forever.
You blow me off for your friends.
But you often blow me.
I will wait for you for now, not forever though.
For the brain has leacked one thing out you and I will never make it.
Love only exist when, two people can trust one another.
I can't trust you, cuz I love you!
I fear you will cheat, lie, and use me.
When this happens it will end.
Tears I shed, my heart will bleed and I will curse you name.
You will nolongerbe in my wet or dry dreams.
You and I will nolonger be.

THE END!

Hmmm ( bygone days)

This time last year I was making a car payment, employed at a job I hated and getting ready for the holidays. This time last year I was not enjoing life much, all I did was work and pay bills. Now at this point I am not paing bills nor am I working at a job that I hate. Also I am not getting ready for the holidays this year, I am not buying gifts this year. For the simple fact that i have mad only 1000 $ this year comare that to what I made last year that's not shit, actuially it's only 1/8 of what I am use to if you catch my drift. So I guess in the last year I have changed everything in my life. I don't have a car payment nor bills to pay, also I enjoy my job although I make 50$ aweek but yet I enjoy that. If I had more time I would proably get a second job but I dont have enough time nor do I have the ambsion to work a second job. Also the longer I tell my mom that I have a 50 dollar check the longer it takes for my truck to get fix noramally I would be very upset, but I don't care anymore. I ask you does this make me a lazy person or a selfish one? I feel that I am just prioratixing my time. And now I am enjoing life although i dont have much cash on hand nor am I getting out much but hey there's only 168 hrs in a week right?

rather happy!

Yes, I am aware this might send some of you into a coranary, but I am actually in a good moood.
I really have nothing to complain about and I rather enjoy life at this moment, I think I have really grown up. Meaning that life is not really a bitch anymore, for once in my life I am actually happy. I have a job, might be getting a new car cuz well it needs about a 700 dollars in repairs. So I am now looking for a new car that 50 bucks a week can afforde. So anyways I am really likeing my jobs and liking life most of all. One major downer is however is I got my cell phone bill, yea I will be hiding it from my parents. so anyways moving on i have some homework and I will be off to do it now ;( so talk to you all later bye.

I got bored and wrote a poem.

I have three circles of friends

all seem to be oblvious to emotinal pain

Look someone is motioning for me to come over

I start to walk, I fall into a deep black hole

I look up and try to climb out of it but the hole closes in on me

I start to dig and dig but the hole just gets deeper and thin

I'm starting to get closterphobic as I look up I see figures

I see them reach in for me and pull me out

I can see again, breath again, my friend tells a joke but I can't laugh

They look at me like I just kicked a cat

My friends say laugh

I say I can't

They say yes

Go like this

HAHAHAHA!

I simle so now I feel better

and I enjoy the party.

I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!

You're orange. You're strong and have the reflexes
of a tiger. You're overly protective, and
those skills come in handy... You're a natural
person, with a taste for natural foods (I mean
organic, here.). Well, that's not true.
...Just food in general! You're as
quick-witted as your reflexes, and sometimes
painfully logical. You love wild animals and
pets. (Preferably wild animals!) You're a
natural person, and a true child of Gaia.
You're a stimulating, and outgoing person. You
enjoy making people think, especially with your
infectiously spontaneous attitude. You're a
generally optomistic person, with a love for
showing off all of your good traits. Although
many people may see you as strung-out, or just
plain weird, you're very down-to-earth and
humble. You're incredibly sweet (as this
color's other name!), and you care about people
in general. As this color would describe,
you're energetic beyond all human
comprehension. You've got a nack for drawing,
and you enjoy it, too. When it comes to
school, you're a good listener with an even
better memory. You're studious... At least
when you need to be!

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I got a new job, it's at Meijer. I will be stacking and stuff. It's more than what I started out at GKC. But less than I was makeing there towards the end of my carreer at GKC, but it's still better than nothing. A big plus.
I don't consider myself a chicken, about many things. However I hate spiders and snakes. I found a huge spider in my bed today and well I killed it really quick. I also found a snake under my truck well that one took me a little while to get ride of, uke,. I well, the snake was on the drivers side of my truck. So to avoid the snake I went in through the passenger side of my truck.. So I kinda have to work on my phobia. Unfortanately for me AZ, is full of snakes, errrrr.. I shuder to think what will happen if there's a snake in my office and I have to deal with a patenit. Yea that will go over really well wont it, not. well im outie talk to yall lada.