Dunno!

White walls, white ceillings, white sink; white, white, white, white. If Damen didn't know any better he would swear he lived in a hospital. But he doesn't he lives with his mother whom just happens to love white. Everything was white, till one day Damen was shaveing and red came from his white face. Damen liked that color wanted more of it. "The cut on my face didn't hurt" he thought to himself, whats another, not on the face though mom would know I did it on purpose. The wrist, no to dangerous, the arm? yea the arm nothing to hurt there. WOW!!! The blood was so red, so grand, more more came out until the room was red. Then it went black, then the screams, then the black faded. White all around him, beds, doctors and everything white. Just like home, "Wwwwwhat hhhhappened?" He mumbles. "You slit your wrist" and "almost died." The only thing he thought was "Damn I'll try harder next time"! Only there will never be a next time on the day he was released from the hospital he got hit by a car and died.

Would that be a sin, on one hand he wanted to die, but on the other he had no control of the car that killed him. Oh yea this is an example of irony.

30 mins left.

I have decided to make a post, about what I dunno. I got my power back on at around 1am, Thanksgiving was saved. I don't feel good, I have a sore throat, stuffy nose, and uppset stomach. I am not depressed, happy, nor anxetious, Mellow really describes me right now. I don't want to work 6-2am nor do i want to be awake. I just want to do something other than school and work. AHHAHHHAHHHAHHAHHHAHHHHAHHH. Currently I am watching "VH1" Most awsomely bad metal songs ever! well shit there are many bad metal songs, but then again there are a lot of shity songs, today. I hate a lot of the new songs on the radio today. But yet there are a lot of songs on this show that I really like, "on the road again" bon jovi, "she's only 17" can't remember who did that one. well that is all for now later dude.

10 reasons why I hate Michigan!

10.) Michigan in general.
9) The rainny time in september- October and again in april- march.
8) Dirt roads.
7) The crappy paying jobs.
6) Lack of jobs.
5) The lack of activities in the winter.
4) The smell of swage in the spring.
3)The cold weather.
2) The first snow, people not remembering how to drive.
1) The snow.

Those are just a few reason why I CAN NOT WAIT to move to AZ or Cali.

What percent of men want sex instead of a ltr.

Okay, I was talking to Rachel last night and we got to talking about sex and what percent of men mainly want sex. I say it's more like 99% of men want sex and will dump a girl if they don't put out, she said less than 90 % of guys only want sex. She also said "That my friends don't count when I told her that they would dump a girl if they did not put out." I feel that Rachel thinks highly of the male spiecies, she will learn. I also can relate this theory to women, I asked this, hot, girl why she dated an ungly guy. She told me "Out of fear of being dumped." She thought if she dated and ugly guy she would have the upper hand and her feelings won't get hurt, works sometimes, not all. I guess that is why many men will also date ugly girls. But also some of my other friends told me that they also fear sex, even though they really want to have it, this only happens if they date smokingly hot girls; out of fear that if they don't perform as good as the girl was hoping that they will dump them. So all in all guys really want sex, but in many cases won't perform out of fear. So if you have any clue what I am talking about or if this makes seanse to you all leave a comment.

Sincerly,

Ryan.

Rachel said...

"Well, after you asked me the other day about this, I got to thinking. And it seems to me that each emotion serves its purpose, even the ones that we go out of our way not to feel. Like shame. Shame keeps us from becoming too proud and arrogant. Guilt keeps us from doing things that are mean or wrong. Fear can be a protector, in certain situations - for example, we wouldn't jump off a building for fear that we would die. And while depression sucks, many depressed people have created some beautiful art. So...I guess I can't think of any completely useless or uneeded emotion.

Though they can definitely be a nuisence from time to time."

Oddly enough I agree with Rachel. Without emotions life would be dull and uneventful. Think of all the funny things that happen when people act out of fear, even anger. We all need to know what time it is the right time to laugh at something, if we don't than we really could hurt someone very close to us. Good day y'all!

How Many Times...

How many times have you heard that someone has a bad life or has it rough? I hear it all the time, but when you see someone that has actually lived through a bad life, to become something of a house-hold name is shocking and you wounder why. Well you can't change the past, but you can change your future. That is what I think Frank McCourt is showing us in his book "Angela's Ashes." Frank had nothing growing up and had to work his ass off, apartenly, to become something. He left Ireland at 19 he was done with school at 14 or 15, became a teacher, got married and reunited with his brothers year later. This kind of puts life in perspecitve if you think about it, you have a person who had nothing growing up, but yet became famous. He is a true successtory from rages to richs. This shows people that you can come from nothing and becoome someone. This tells people that you can make a bad situation to a good one. This makes me feel good to know, but bad to know that life is so cruel, but yet can be so kind. You have loses and gains, bumpy roads and smooth ones, and uncertainity and seldomly certainity. So I say to all who see this and know me, "You have one life to live, one time to get it perfect, one time not to mess up, but remeber to enjoy life. You can mess up, but as long as you how to right a wrong, and if you mess up and have kids show them the wrong and how not to act in this life nor the next and you can have a life of "happiness" and maybe you children won't have to right any wrongs, that you have shown them, but right the wrongs they make." If this makes senase let me know or not.

You Pick the Topic.

I am kind of bored with people telling me what to do, my mom tells me that every day, along with the rest of my family. Then tonight at work this woman, who is not a team leader nor manager, gave me her chores to do. I am trying to be a nice person and I said "Why?" Her response was well I don't feel like doing them, again I said "What time do you leave?" she told me 10p.m. Well damnit I have my own responsablities to do, so I tell her "no" and my boss laughed and said "About time somebody refueses to do her work" I said yea I know. Face it in the longrun we all know she did not do her work she left early. Something about feeling sick, she was faking it. Yes Ladies and Gents I got stuck doing her chores. On top of mine, well put it this way AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
I run around Meijer's all night so yes I was not a happy person I was in the back and up front all night and I was sweating like a stuck pig. I will never do that again I will quite before i get stuck with someone else duties. Ryan has spoke!

I Gotta Question to Ask Ya?

What kind, if any, emotions would you want to get ride?
Shame
Guilt
Fear
Happiness
Saddness
Depprisson
Anger

Well I would keep Anger, and Happiness.
I would say lets get ride of Shame, for my own personal reasons.
what ones would u get rid of?

Life as We Know It!

What would you do if life ended in 48hours? Would you spend the last few hours with your loved ones, would you "sew your wild oats?" or what would you do?
I for one would spend the first 24 hours sewing my 'wild oats' :) :) then if I don't die from a hang over, spend the next 12 hours with my friends hug tell them that I love them and that if they can write to me when they go to heaven. Then spend one hour writing an angry letter to all the people that have pissed me off and hope they see it be fore the world ended. Then spend the last 11 hours with my family talking reminacing with em hug em kiss em and tell them when if I die first I will save them a spot next to the AC in Hell. We will all laugh and my Aunt Dude would say that's not funny and my Grandma will say I already lived in hell I want peace for the rest of enterinty. Dude will say tell us Peg what is your perfect heaven? Grandma will say "All my family, all my ex-husbands waiting on us hand and foot, and where my sister won't have any vocal cords." What about your son-in-laws? They can all stay in hell for all I care. Is what she would say. Her daughters will laugh and say that will be the best place in the after life. Then the end would come my grandma will hit her sister, all the daughters will turn to their husbands and say " don't come and find us!" and the world will end. And all the sufering will end and the sins gone and we will all be happy, if their is an after life, that is.

Longing to update.

I want to tell yall something, but I can't because I haven't thought of it yet. I have not had any thing extciting happen at all in the last few days :(. I have to decide on what I need to do with my life, I feel that I have hit a wall of exciting things to talk about. I am going to do something I don't often do, stop talking so that no news will reach anyone before I have a chance to tell them. will good night all.

Short Story.

When the boy woke up he was in a bit of a dazy and happy that this time he could see clearly. He turned his head to the left and saw his mother with silver bracelets on her wrist, she looked almost sickened when she saw her son's face. His mother's face was black & blue, she had a bloody nose, and a cut on her forehead that made her look like Frankenstein. When they made eye contact she turned her head quickly. The Boy was happy that she was in handcuffs, he could figure out why he was so happy, but knew that this was a werid feeling. Werid because he doesn't know if he should feel this way. This was his mother and her only true fault was turning her back on her son and marring a drunkard like he was. The doctor said "The boy is up, and yall can get the 'ell out of this room." For a minute the boy thought he was have a stroke or something was wrong with his brain. Than when a cop spoke to his mother he knew all was fine, the Doctor had a Southern accent. As they left the police said " we will be here tomorrow to talk to the boy!" The nurse and Doctor nodded and said "Fiine".

The next day the police came as they said they would. The sun was high and bright the room was warming up his room. The nurse had came by and changed his bandages and cleaned him up a bit. As she did this she mumbled "Can't have ya lookin like a bum, when your laawyer man comes and talks to ya." The boy just sat there this was the first time that anyone has helped hime with anything since his dad died. Nice days then his mom loved him his dad spent all day with him until he left for work and the boy left for school. But no point in remembering the good ole day now cuz they are long gone now, and he might never get to see his dad in the next life. That is if he really did kill his Step-dad, see he can only remember being hit, thrown acrross the room and seeing the body and the lady cop patting him on the back. Wait he remembers something now the lady cop said "You have more curage than any body I have ever meet and don't ever change that." That is what his dad said the night he died, how did she know this, this was just between the two of them. Can't dwell on this now here comes the cops, they push their way in and the nurse said "Owt wit ya, he aint dressed and thats wrong that yous be here when he has a stich ole clothen on!" FINE, shouted the cops as they turned and waited out said. The nurse said "That will give you lawyer some time, no?"

SPRING BREAK ( FIVE MONTHS AWAY)!

Well well, for the first time since oh freshmen year in high school do I have awsome plans for spsring break. My cousin Jeremy, Amber, Grandma, Aunt Dude:( and myself are going to spring break. Amber is going to Maimi, Jeremy and I are going to Daytona, Grandma and Aunt Dude are going to vist a family member in Ocwhala. I swear I will drive my own car to daytona if Dude goes. Yes she will say " No booze, no sex, girls) = not fun at all, well for the youths. but I dont care cuz it's spring break and I am going to have fun fun all day under the sun and drink drink all night under the moon. so if any one knows of any good hotels in North daytona let me know spanks bye!!!!

Shot Story Time!

The house was silent as he apporached the door, out of fear that they might set him off with the anger again. He walked in stagering and in a temper like never before, the child was hiding in his room more silent than a mouse. Until he sneezed, that set the man off like never before. The dark room went bright the boy found himself nose to nose with the horrible man. The wife attempted to stop the drunk man, he sent her flying accross the hall, leaving the child to defend himself. Just as the Man hits the boy, the boy remebers the last words his dad told him before he died, " Close your eyes and swing, and don't stop until you draw blood and they stop screaming for help." Thats just what the boy did, at first the man laughed than regreated that. For when the boy landed on his bed, he found his bat and then he swung until the man n
ot just stop screaming but stopped breathing. When the cops came all the boy could say was " he got what he deserved." The lady cop smiled and laughed and patted him on the back. than the boy fainted and woke up in the hospital not knowing how, why he was there. There were cops standing around him, few smiled with pride and some with a thirst for knowledge. Only the boy didn't know the questions nor the answers. What was he suppose to do now?




To be contuined.........